July 17, 2006
July 17, 2006 Issue #29
Welcome to the newsletter where playing more and stressing less is taken seriously. It's written with the intention to support you in living a life with more passion and play and less worry and work.
IN THIS ISSUE...
The Subtlety of Sex Appeal
A Sense of Place
Women's Funny Videos
New Coaching Program
begins in November
Cranky Ambulances
Ways to Play Today:
Favorite Movie Clip Night
Start Saving Your Quarters
Something to Ponder:
How does sex appeal show up for you?
"This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last."
~Oscar Wilde
My Playground
The article, the message, the thing to make you go hmmm...
~The Subtlety of Sex Appeal~
During my European travels last month, I spent a day and evening in Amsterdam before catching my flight back home. It was an interesting 24 hours to say the least. For those of you who are unaware about this very liberal city in The Netherlands, let me share a few facts first before continuing my story. It's not only legal to smoke marijuana here, but there are "coffee bars" where you can purchase and partake in the plant of your choice. Prostitution is legal and literally, you can go "window shopping" for the woman of your choice. I know the drug and sex industry is alive and well here in the States, but it was quite shocking to see (and smell) such a public and grand display of indulgence and lack of inhibition. I consider myself an open-minded woman, but I was definitely surprised by what I saw and it stirred up a couple things for me and neither one of them was my libido.
If you haven't been to Amsterdam, I'll paint a picture for you so you can perhaps have a better understanding of why "The Red Light District" is the city's hottest spot. Imagine a cozy and quaint cobblestone street with small retail stores. Throw in a smattering of sex paraphernalia and porn shops and your shopping excursion down this street becomes a more interesting place to explore. Now add a hundred or so scantily-clad women standing behind glass windows and doors in the apartment buildings just off the sidewalk and you've got more than just eyebrows raised (apologies for the risqué pun intended). You have a major tourist attraction. I'm no prude and I'm not saying this kind of thing shouldn't happen, but when matching bra and panties and a come-hither-look are as blatant and bold as a neon billboard, an erotic experience this is not. What I witnessed was a sad show of forced sex appeal and it got me thinking about what really turns people on.
Blatant and bold in Paris' Pompidou Museum.
So...what is sex appeal? Is it lacy lingerie and voyeuristic views? Is it meant to be exploited with a price tag attached? Yes, those things may get some people hot and bothered, but I believe real sex appeal comes from the content of one's character not their naughty nighties. It has more to do with personality and spirit rather than physical attributes and a Victoria Secret get-up. Tight buns and big boobs may sell you a nice pair of jeans or a snug sweater, but like most everything we buy, they don't last over time. You, however, are long-lasting and full of sex appeal and you probably aren't even aware of it. Take a look beyond your underwear drawer and the reflection you see in the mirror. The way in which you carry yourself in the world determines your degree of attractiveness to others and it comes naturally without having to dress up in a slinky outfit and parade about. Real sex appeal doesn't require showing any skin. Being comfortable enough in your own is the key to being noticed, admired and yes, even sexy. How's that for subtle?
5 Subtle Traits to Turn on the Sex Appeal and Turn Heads
1) Humor
When you're able to laugh at yourself and at what life unexpectedly throws your way, it's a much more attractive quality than being able to deliver a punch line. You don't have to be funny to be noticed. Not being afraid to have fun is what gets people interested.
2) Honesty
It is the best policy when it comes to, well...most everything in life. Surprise and inspire others by your willingness and insistence on telling it like it is. Lies aren't the big seducer. Truths are.
3) Positive Outlook
Given the choice between a person who's consistently cheerful and one who is more often than not moody, who would you rather spend time with? Life circumstances won't always be what you want them to be, but you're always in charge of how YOU want to be. Enthusiasm entices.
4) Generosity
People know the difference between a gift with no strings attached and one where a favor is owed. Giving without expecting anything in return is highly attractive. When you honor and cherish others without making them feel indebted to you, sex appeal points double.
5) Curiosity
Over time, a shapely body will diminish while an inquisitive mind will deepen. Be fascinated by life and all its mysteries and be aware of who becomes fascinated by you.
It certainly is possible that the ladies who line up along Amsterdam's most famous street love their jobs because they earn decent money and enjoy making men feel good via their services. Perhaps I've been a tad bit judgmental about one of the world's oldest professions, but let's get real here. One has to wonder whether or not they're really happy sitting in a window selling sex for a living. Exhibiting blatant sex appeal may lead to having great sex (or not), but does it leave a person feeling good about themselves afterwards? I suspect not. Sex appeal at its very finest happens when we express our unique selves with others and that means personality quirks and all. When you show up and be who you really are in the world, it's likely to be subtle enough that you won't even notice your own sex appeal, but get this...most everyone else will. The more real you are, the more attractive you become to others, not to mention to yourself. That's sexy. And that my friends, is a very good thing indeed.
Check it Out
Personal Recommendations for books, music, websites and all resources fun!
A Sense of Place by Michael Shapiro
I bought this book while I was traveling in Europe and it was a wonderful companion to have despite having to carry the three extra pounds in my backpack. Each chapter is an in-depth and personal interview with an established travel writer. The conversations Michael has with the writers about their work, their lives and their homes are exciting, engaging and quite illuminating. The concept of what home is and where one feels most at home is an interesting thing to ponder. There are well-known names you'll be familiar with like Frances Mayes, Bill Bryson and Paul Theroux, but you'll also be introduced to people like Jan Morris who started her writing career as James Morris and Brad Newsham who drove a cab to pay the bills so he could continue to write. The interviews make up the largest portion of the book, but the background information that Michael writes at the beginning of each chapter introducing the author are interesting as well. After reading a few chapters, it's likely you'll grab a pen and paper and begin writing your own story whether it's travel-related or not.
Womens Funny Videos
Whoohee! There's some pretty funny stuff out there on the internet and this website is an absolute giggle-fest. I haven't explored the site beyond the videos, but I'm sure the funny audio clips, pictures and stories will garner just as many laughs. I recommend watching the following videos: Evolution of Dance, I Can Dance, Talking Cats, Menopausal Women and Outrageous Commercials. They're all PG-rated, but I'll issue this warning: After viewing these short moving montages, you might end up with a stitch in your side and a perma-grin on your face. A few minutes a day of gut-wrenching laughter not only will give your belly a good workout, but it's bound to put you in a better mood. Laugh away, I say!
What's Up at Playful Spirit?
While you're reading this newsletter, I'll be working (honestly, I'm actually doing more playing than work) as a camp counselor. This will be my sixth year working with teens at OASC Leadership Camp. It's one of those things I plan on doing every summer for the rest of my life. The commitment I have to this camp is as strong as the one I'll be making to my fiancée come this September. I plan on being with both of them until the day I die.
After a week of camp, I'm heading to Taos, NM to join twenty-four other women and facilitators, Suzanne Falter-Barnes and Jennifer Louden for a week-long writer's retreat. These two women have been professional mentors of mine for several years and I'm looking forward to getting my butt kicked into gear regarding writing my first book. I think I'm finally (FINALLY!) taking my writing seriously. Having (or should I say paying for) the support I know I need is going to be a powerful experience.
Oh man, am I going to be eating some crow here. I promised in last month's newsletter that my new blog, Life of Play would be making its debut. I'm sorry to say it's not going to happen this month. My plate has been full since I returned home from my travels and despite my attempts to find a bigger plate I haven't found the time to create it in the way I want it to appear. I am committed to getting it up and running soon, but I think I'll keep my mouth shut for now. When my blog finally shows up, then you and I can both be surprised.
I am making good on one of the promises I made last month which was to tell you about the new coaching program I'm developing. Although the name might offend some, it's meant to stir people up and into action.
Kick-Ass Coaching is a 30 day program designed for people who want maximum results in minimal time.
In one month, you not only get two phone sessions and unlimited email coaching, but you get 30 Ways How to Have More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't. The kick-ass part is that for 30 days you get a daily dose of information and inspiration delivered to your email to support you in creating and living your life in a more powerful and playful way. And here's another kick-ass part, YOU get to decide how much or how little you want to work "The Way" of the day.
If you're intrigued by the idea of the Kick-Ass Coaching Program and you want to make some powerful changes in your life, now's the time to contact me and say "Lisa, tell me more!"
Send me an email
and I'll send you the details. The first month of Kick-Ass Coaching kicks off November 1st with ten people. Will you be one of them? Kicking ass has never been this much fun!
Giggles & Guffaws
An amusing story, joke, anecdote or picture to tickle your funnybone
Ways to Play Today
Why not...invite friends over and have a favorite movie clip night?
You never have to argue again which movie to rent or watch. Here's how it works: Each person invited to the party picks a movie they've seen and loved. Their task is to find a 10-15 minute memorable scene and play it. Play the clips one after the other or stop the film footage and have a conversation. Share the reasons why it's your favorite and listen to others share theirs. Vote on what is the best clip. No worries if you haven't seen a film before. Consider it an extended preview and review of what you may or may not want to see. Don't forget the popcorn.
Why not...start saving your quarters?
Begin making a bigger investment in your money jar. Those good-for-nothing Abe Lincoln's can't even buy you a piece of bubblegum anymore so they're not worth your time. Out with the copper coins and in with the silver ones. It's true you might be more enticed to raid your piggy bank when you're shaking more than just pennies, but resist the urge to splurge and keep plunking in those quarter dollars. Give up your morning paper and you'll toss in two of those beauties every day. Forgo one large latte every week and you'll have sixteen coins to offer your coffers. Notice how heavy you let your jar get before you reach in.
Something to Ponder
Questions designed to stimulate your thinking AND encourage you to take action towards what you want.
How does your sex appeal show up in the world?
Does it attract or scare people away?
Care to share what these questions stir up in you? Need some support around finding ways to let your sex appeal subtly shine?
Send me an e-mail.
I welcome your thoughts and will respond to all e-mails received.
If you want to find out more about the work I do as a facilitator, writer and coach check out Playful Spirit Make sure you come back and visit every so often as you never know what kind of resources and fun stuff I'll be playing around with and adding to the website.
Thanks for reading this issue of Lighten Up! If you enjoyed it, please pass it along to your friends, your family, your co-workers...You get the idea. Until next month, consider your personal traits that might have a hint of sex appeal and subtly share them with others. Be well, be happy and play more.
See you on August 21st!
Lisa
~Playful Spirit's mission is to empower women and men to acknowledge and express their unique gifts in the world. We help people rediscover their passion, purpose & sense of play.~
lisa@playful-spirit.com www.playful-spirit.com