May 24, 2005 Issue #17

IN THIS ISSUE...

1) Welcome!
2) My Playground
3) Check it Out
4) Giggles & Guffaws
5) Ways to Play Today!
6) Random Musings
7) Something to ponder
8) Shameless Promotional Plug

A playful welcome to my new subscribers!
This *free* monthly newsletter is written with the intention to help you live life with more fun and joy and less stress and worry. With informative articles, humorous insights and great resources, "Lighten Up!" is guaranteed to provide you a motivational kick in the butt while giving you a giggle or two along the way.

"If I could say it, I wouldn't have to dance it." ~Martha Graham

For the past four years, I've been a part of a free-form dance community. It's the kind of dancing you might do in your living room when no one is watching. It's the kind of dancing where hooking up or looking good isn't the norm, but giving up and looking within are. It's not about getting the steps right, but getting what kind of movement feels right to you. It's not about being the most beautiful dancer. It's about being courageous enough to discover the beauty of your own dance no matter how silly or ridiculous your moves might appear to yourself or to others.

In addition to it being great exercise, this type of dancing is perfect for those of us who have two left feet and can't follow directions very well. When I attempted a few years back to learn the Lindy Hop, I quickly discovered my head and my feet were not connected to each other. Structure and form don't go over so well for people who tend to gravitate towards things that involve more spontaneity and creativity. When you give your body permission to move to music in the way it wants, it often allows your feelings and emotions to open up as well. Knowing you have a natural stress-relief technique available without having to travel to a pharmacy is a comforting thought. When I can be my most expressive, outrageous and authentic self on a dance floor in front of others, it gives me the courage and freedom to be that way in all areas of my life. Anything less than that is no longer a place I can play in.

My Playground
The article, the message, the thing to make you go hmmm...

~Free to Be~

I don't know about you, but there are some days when I feel I could just throw myself on the floor and kick and scream like a three year old who's just been told "No". Whether it's because I'm angry about something that happened at work or I just don't want to pick up after myself, there are times when I'd like to revert back to being a brat. I know I could throw a tantrum like the one I've just described, but it likely won't get me what I want. However, finding a less explosive way to express my emotions rather than stifle them frees me up to be honest with myself and with others.

It's unfortunate that a lot of adults seem to lose the ability to be real with one another. For some of us, the older we get the more we're inclined to say the right thing rather than what's true for us. Kids will pretty much tell you like it is. If they're not happy, they'll let you know. If they want something, they'll tell you they want it. Adults on the other hand will say, "Nothing is wrong" when there is or "I'm fine" when they're really not. We make assumptions and judgments. We play victim and beat around the bush. No wonder we make ourselves miserable. The truth is...being real may be a more challenging path to walk on at times, but it's the only way we can live a life that has meaning and depth.

Being free to be who you really are under any and all circumstances is a huge mission to consider because when you're more real it can create different and unexpected responses from others. Despite the dissonance that may occur and some rough edges having to be smoothed over, I'm encouraging you to take it on. I'm encouraging you to take ownership of the things you're not being real about and to be responsible for creating your life the way you want to live it. This month I want you to fill in the five statements that follow. I want you to get that you're free to be whoever who say you are.

My friend Lumina and I being free to be silly.

1) I am free to be...

2) I am free to be...

3) I am free to be...

4) I am free to be...

5) I am free to be...

Don't tell another lie to yourself or to someone else. Do have a conversation that brings forth understanding and trust. Don't let your feelings go unannounced. Do share with others how and why you feel the way you do. Don't beat yourself up if you're having a hard time being real. Do begin to notice when you're telling yourself the truth. It's taken me 36 years to be free to be honest, to be committed, to be a good listener, to be really playful and to be a dancer. I'd love to hear who you are free to be. Being free to choose how you want to be makes you real already. Start dancing.

Check it Out
Personal Recommendations for books, music, websites and all resources fun!

Peregrine Images Hal Eastman's website is a visual display of beauty and art. His photographs of women dancing in nature are both stunning and surreal. I had the pleasure of meeting Hal in Cannon Beach three years ago while he was putting the finishing touches on his book. We had a delightful conversation over coffee and I had the honor of being shown his book before it was bound and published. Be sure to take a look at all the available images from his book "Natural Dance" and check out the photographs of his new work as well. I'm sure Hal wouldn't mind a bit if you were inspired to purchase a photograph or two.

Heather Sellers - "Page after Page"
A writer who's willing to bare and share her own fears and foibles about being a writer is one I admire. There's some sweet satisfaction in reading about another person's struggles with the writing process. It somehow makes me feel better knowing there are other writers out there who experience just as much self-doubt and engage in self-defeating behaviors that I do. I'm only halfway through it, but so far it's a stellar read with great writing prompts. Even if you're not a writer, it'll make you want to put pen to paper.

Giggles & Guffaws
An amusing story, joke, anecdote or picture to tickle your funnybone

It was in that moment she decided to become a vegetarian.

Ways to Play Today!

Why not...create a dance space in your home?
For those of you who have seen the movie "Risky Business", you might recall the scene of a scantily clad Tom Cruise sliding across a hardwood floor with his socks on and not much else. Perhaps this is not the image you have in mind when it comes to creating a space in your home in which to dance uninhibited. Perhaps the neighbors might be a tad bit concerned if you decide to dance sans clothes in front of the living room window. While I'm all for being free to be naked in certain situations, I would encourage you to find a place that has a reasonable amount of privacy for you to explore the odd and unique movements of you without fear of being intruded upon. Prepare your space by removing any sharp objects you might fling yourself into, do away with any mirrors that might mock you and crank up your favorite tunes to a volume level that eliminates any negative voices in your head. Invite others into your space only when YOU'RE ready. Dance on!

Why not...begin planning that trip you've always dreamed about?
It's now possible through the Internet to bring the rest of the world into our lives a little easier. Yes, it may only be pretty pictures appearing on the screen, but at least now you'll have some kind of idea of what your dream destination looks like. Better to know before you go than to be surprised when you get there. Perhaps you don't have the cash on hand to take that wondrous vacation of yours as soon as you'd like, but you can find out how much change you're going to need when you finally do take that trip. Gather hotel information, check out the local scene, send for the fancy brochures and most importantly, meet someone online who lives where you want to go. Be careful and wise with your email exchanges, but establish a local contact. You never know if that bakery owner will be able to get you a great rate with the nicest hotel in town that his best friend just happens to own. There's also a very good chance that after you've perused your locations' web pages, you'll be inspired to save more money and take that trip sooner than later so that inflation doesn't raise your travel costs considerably.

Random Musings
Miscellaneous thoughts of mine with hints of truth and wisdom

There is no other dance like yours. I hope you dance.

Growing older is a given. Growing up is optional.

The Army didn't get it quite right. Be all that you ARE NOW not what you can be.

Something to Ponder
Questions designed to stimulate your thinking AND encourage you to take action towards what you want.

What prevents you from being real with yourself or with others?
How will you be free to express yourself EXACTLY the way you want to today?

Care to share what these questions stir up in you? Need some support around being free to be real? Send me an e-mail. I welcome your thoughts and will respond to all e-mails received.

Shameless Promotional Plug

Congratulations to Karen Markle for being the first person to correctly answer last month's trivia question. Paul Hewson is the real name of the lead singer for U2 and oh, what a concert it was! If the band is going to play anywhere near your neck of the woods this year, GO SEE THEM! A good time will be had by you! Soon, very soon two new pages will be making their debut on my website. Stay tuned for the Favorite Links page that will showcase some of the best websites I've been perusing over the past couple of years. If you're a new subscriber or if you accidentally deleted an issue without reading it (that never actually happens does it?) you'll be able to check out any previous issue of "Lighten Up" on the Archives page. The Playful Spirit is very happy summer is just around the corner. Even though that might not mean warm weather in Oregon in June, it means that July and August and the possibility of sunshine are that much closer.

If you want to find out more about the work I do as a coach, facilitator and writer check out Playful Spirit Make sure you come back and visit again as more resources and fun stuff will be added to the website every month.

Thanks for reading this issue of Lighten Up! If you enjoyed it, please pass it along to your friends, your family, your co-workers...You get the idea. See you on or about June 20th! Until that time, be well, be happy and play more.

May you be free to be real in all areas of your life and may you discover the beauty of your own dance.
Lisa

Not too much longer before it's river-floatin' time!