December 20, 2004 Issue #12

IN THIS ISSUE...

1) Welcome!
2) My Playground
3) Check it Out
4) Giggles & Guffaws
5) Ways to Play Today!
6) Random Musings
7) Something to ponder
8) Shameless Promotional Plug

A playful welcome to my new subscribers!
This *free* monthly newsletter is written with the intention to help you live life with more fun and joy and less stress and worry. With informative articles, humorous insights and great resources, "Lighten Up!" is guaranteed to provide you a motivational kick in the butt while giving you a giggle or two along the way.

As I begin to write the last newsletter of 2004, it’s the weekend before my 36th birthday and I’m feeling quite content about turning this age. It’s the one four years from now I’m a little concerned about. Not that 40 is old, mind you, but when it seems not so long ago that my parents were the age I am now, that thought tends to make my head spin. In celebration of another year of living, I decided to get away from the noise of the city for a little r & r at a place called Breitenbush. It’s a lovely retreat center nestled amongst tall fir trees with three pools of natural hot spring waters. My cabin is tucked away in these dense woods near a winter-swollen river and in addition to the constant shushing of its waters, I can hear the rain tap, tap, tapping on the roof.

It’s quite cozy, as perhaps you can imagine, and after two days of eating really yummy organic, vegetarian food, soaking my butt in the hot springs and even doing some serious napping, I feel I can take this sense of peace and calm with me back to the city I live in. The month of December can seem like a wild roller coaster ride with all the hustle and bustle of preparing for the holidays. If you’ve been feeling lately like a squirrel scurrying around for the last couple nuts of the season, know that it’s possible to slow the pace down and truly enjoy the remaining days of this year. I believe you can find stillness amongst chaos if you’re willing to turn within. In this month’s newsletter, I want to offer you ways on how to do that while spreading some good ol’ holiday cheer, but I also want to share a story with you that I’ve wanted to tell for quite some time. While at Breitenbush, there were many things that encouraged me to tell that story now. As we get ready to celebrate the many holidays of this month and the beginning of a new year, let us go about our days remembering and rejoicing in the reasons for the season.

My Playground
The article, the message, the thing to make you go hmmm...

~The Ones We Love~

Sometimes it seems that this is the time of the year when we most express our gratitude and affection for the ones we love. We give gifts, send out cards and many of us travel great distances to gather in groups to celebrate a holiday or two with friends and family. Right now as I'm participating in all of the abovementioned things, I'm very aware of how much I want to be in touch with the people in my life throughout the year not just at its tail-end. As I've gotten older (perhaps real wisdom begins to kick in in your mid-thirties) I've realized how important it is to let others know how much you care about them ALL THE TIME because you're not guaranteed of having another chance to tell them what you want to say. The truth is...everyday, not just during the holidays, we're given countless opportunities to tell the people in our lives that we love them and I believe we most definitely should.

It's been almost two years since my friend, Tamara died in a car accident. It was a very sudden and tragic end to a young woman who had a gentle heart and beautiful spirit. The evening before her death, I had driven past her house and a quiet voice within encouraged me to drop on in unannounced (which is something I normally don't do) just to say "hello". It wasn't as though I felt a sense of something foreboding, I just figured it might be a nice gesture since we were neighbors. Despite the voice I heard inside, I didn't want to intrude and didn't stop by. I was at work the next day when I got the call from a friend telling me she'd died earlier that morning when her truck hit a patch of icy road, went over the side of the embankment and collided with a tree trunk. I was told she died instantly of a head injury. In an instant, she was gone. In an instant, the lives of everyone who had ever known this woman were forever changed. It has taken me many months of coming to terms with Tamara's passing. Time continues on, as do the lives of the people who knew and loved her, but grief still catches me by surprise every once in awhile and leaves me breathless. I knew I would think of Tamara while being at Breitenbush because she had worked and lived there a few years back, but I was surprised by some of the things that most reminded me of her.

While I ate my meals and took the time to really experience the unique tastes of my food, I remembered her. Tamara ate very healthy and always seemed very aware of how she chose to nourish her body. When I sat in the quiet pool overlooking the river (the one where silence is requested and respected while soaking), I remembered her. I wondered how many times she sat in this very same place, looking at the same picturesque view and did what I did which was just breathe. When I walked the labyrinth made of stones, I remembered her. I paused while walking along the maze and stood for a while wondering where we go when we leave this earth. When I entered the small adobe shelter called Buddha's Playhouse, I remembered her. How many times had she sat in this space and meditated? Did she think about what her life was like then and what her hopes and dreams were for her future? While these thoughts danced about in my mind, I wished I had taken more time to ask her these questions when she was alive. My own spiritual beliefs allow me to trust that she somehow knows how much I cared for and loved her.

I'm grateful for having been given so many opportunities to remember my friend during my time in the woods. Memories of her helped remind me to slow down and enjoy the weekend from a much quieter place other than the one I'm normally attuned to. I'm beginning to see that sipping life through a straw and savoring its deliciousness rather than gulping it down with no recollection of what I just drank is the way in which I want to live. I am once again, forever grateful for having known her. This month passes by quickly and because I know how easily we can get caught up in the whirlwind of activity, I'd like to give you a few ways how you can have some peace and quiet during the last few seemingly hectic days of December.

5 Simple Ways to Create Stillness in your Day

1) Take a Nap -This piece of advice is coming from someone who didn't nap as a child and as an adult has only taken them as a result of a nasty head cold or hangover. Honestly, one of the best things I could encourage you to do is to snuggle under the covers for a half hour or so and rest. I took a two-hour nap while at Breitenbush and I know I wasn't just lying there staring at the ceiling waiting for the time to pass like I used to do as a kid just to appease my mom. I know I actually fell asleep because when I woke up there was drool on my pillow and sheet creases on my face. Napping may not make you pretty, but it makes you calm.

2) Write a letter -Whether you write to someone or do a little self-journaling, getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper is a quieting thing. It can take you out of that chattering monkey-mind space into a purring kitty-cat one. When you're writing to find stillness, you're not writing to win a Pulitzer Prize, you're writing to go within.

3) Sip something warm -Nothing beats a cold, winter's day than slowly sipping a hot drink. Something with caffeine is probably not your best choice if you want to wind down so I suggest tea, hot cider or plain ol' milk with a touch of honey. (Check out the suggestion for vanilla chai in the next section) Not only will your tummy get all warm and toasty, your hands will reap the reward as well. An added bonus with this suggestion is that soon after consuming your liquid of choice, you'll probably be ready for a nap.

4) Appreciate nature's beauty - Wherever you are, take a walk outside and let your senses take over. Smell the crisp, cold air. Feel the temperature of the day on your skin. Look at what's around you and observe colors, patterns and objects. Listen beyond what you initially hear. Admire what surrounds you that is not man-made.

5) Think of someone you love - I can't think of a better way to reach a sense of inner peace and complete contentment than this. Anytime I think of someone in my family or a dear friend, I enter the "land of warm and fuzzies" in a heartbeat. As soon as I focus my attention on a person I deeply care about, my normal everyday chatter fades away and I'm taken to a place of grand grace. When my almost one year-old nephew, Bryson gets older, I'll have to tell him how often I think about him.

As I finish writing this article, I find myself wanting to provide enlightenment or some kind of answers about the death of loved ones. I don't have any other than I suspect we don't get to know much until it's our time to go. That's why I'll reiterate again the importance of letting the people in your life know right now that you love them. Go tell them. If they're not close enough to hug, pick up the phone and tell them. If they live across town, get in your car and go see them. If they're sitting in the same room as you, get off the sofa, look them straight in the eye and say, "I love you" with all your heart. Don't wait for the excuse of a holiday or any other special time to arrive. There is no reason other than the fact that you love them. There is no better time than right now. So, dear reader, because you have chosen to subscribe and you take the time to read my musings, I want to tell you "I love you". And as Lily Tomlin's character Edith Ann from the television show "Laugh In" used to say, "And that's the truth".

Check it Out
Personal Recommendations for books, music, websites and all resources fun!

FlowGo I'm going to admit it right here and right now. I'm an internet junkie when it comes to discovering funny websites and this one's a hoot. I haven't explored all of its sections, but there are enough silly videos to keep the giggle factor at a very high level. I'm sure you have been subjected to many not-so funny group emails that sing the praises of your friendship and then strongly advise you to pass it along to 10 or more of your friends or else you'll suffer several years of bad luck or death. Ever feel like your friends never really read those emails before they pass them along? Well, you'll have no worries with flowgo. This is one website you can happily recommend to your friends without the fear of receiving a hate email back that says never send them that kind of crap again.

Vanilla Chai
This was one of Tamara's favorite drinks and I'm so happy she shared the sweet goodness of this drink with me. Take equal parts of Oregon Chai (for those of you who live outside of Oregon, this is an actual brand of Chai and it's one of the best. If it's not available where you live, let me know and I'll send you some) and vanilla-flavored soy milk, pour into a big mug and microwave for two minutes or so. Big mugs are best. You get more to drink that way. Order it at your favorite coffee shop and watch the baristas' heads spin. They'll wonder if you want vanilla soy milk or regular milk with a shot of vanilla. Always get the former if you can. Savor the flavor by slurping loudly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and uttering a profound "Ahh!"

Giggles & Guffaws
An amusing story, joke, anecdote or picture to tickle your funnybone

I have to admit this is a pretty good giggle and no, this is not a personal story.

I walked into the rest stop bathroom and had barely got into the stall when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you?" Now, I'm not the type to start a conversation in restrooms and at a rest stop no less, but I answered somewhat embarrassingly, "I’m doing just fine."

And the other guy says, "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? I'm thinking this is too bizarre, so I say, "Oh, I'm just on the road traveling."

At this point I'm just trying to get out of there as fast as I can when I hear him pop off another question: "Can I come over to your place for awhile?"

So now I’m thinking, this question is just a tad bit beyond strange, but I figured I should at least continue the conversation and be polite so I answer him and say, "Uh, I’m not staying here long so today is a bad day for me."

Then...I hear the guy whisper: "Listen, I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the next stall who keeps answering my questions. I gotta get out of here."

Ways to Play Today!

Why not...go sit on Santa's lap and ask him what he'd like for Christmas?

I'm sure you can imagine how exhausting playing Santa Claus must be each year for thousands of men. Imagine for just a moment every single screaming, snot-nosed two year old you've witnessed throwing a temper tantrum in a public venue and place that kid on your lap for possibly eight hours a day for three weeks. It would be enough to drive you loony, don't cha think? How about you make this poor ol' guy's day and ask him what his wishes are for the holidays (other than a quick end to the Christmas season)? Perhaps he'll look at you strangely and question your sanity, but when you also offer to buy him a cup of coffee or some hot chocolate, he'll smile as he wipes the sweat off his brow and be your new best friend for life.

Why not...make a list of things to BE rather than do this upcoming year?

2005 is just around the corner. You're considering (once again) writing out your New Year's Resolutions. Why not make a new kind of list this year? Consider not losing the same 10 pounds you've been saying the last few years you want to get rid of. Consider not giving up whatever bad habit you have and hope to change. Consider not finding a new job that will probably end a couple years down the road like the same one you have now. Consider this instead: Make a list of how you want to BE every day for the next 365 days and beyond. For example, I want to be more patient in all areas of my life. Whether I'm standing in line at the grocery store or waiting to hear back from an editor or agent or publisher that they love my work, (I'm pretty sure I'll need to be plenty patient to find and then be able to work with all three) being more patient will help this fast-paced female be more grounded. Being more grounded will help me be less stressed. Being less stressed will help me be more joyful. Being more joyful...you get the picture. BEing more rather than doing more will bring you more of what you want most assuredly.

Random Musings
Miscellaneous thoughts of mine with hints of truth and wisdom

No matter where you go, you can always be found.

Material goods are bought with the pocketbook. Gifts you create are priceless.

Consider that love is the answer to everything. Now ask the question.

Something to Ponder
Questions designed to stimulate your thinking AND encourage you to take action towards what you want.

Do you need to slow your pace down a bit? Why do you think so?

How could you experience more stillness in your life?

Care to share what these questions stir up in you? Need some support around learning how to create and appreciate stillness? Send me an e-mail. I welcome your thoughts and will respond to all e-mails received.

Shameless Promotional Plug

A big Thank You to those of you who took advantage of the free holiday coaching. It truly was wonderful to exchange emails with you the last month. You have big, beautiful ideas for what you want in your lives and I appreciate your even bigger hearts for sharing a part of yourselves with me. I'm absolutely serious about the offer to send some Oregon Chai your way. If you'd like to experience what a lovely liquid it is, send me an e-mail and let me know you want some. However, I won't be able to send it your way until after the first of the year as I'm leaving in three days for the South Pacific for the holidays. I'm going to New Zealand and Australia with my partner, James for ten days of sightseeing and sunshine (actually it'll only be 8 days if you consider crossing over the International Date Line and the traveling time). I'm thrilled to be getting off this continent for the first time and traveling to a place where it's summer right now, but what I'm really looking forward to is meeting the people who James loves and adores. Although I'll be missing my family terribly this Christmas and New Year's, I know his family and friends will welcome me into their homes with open arms and hearts.

If you want to find out more about the work I do as a coach, facilitator and writer check out Playful Spirit Make sure you come back and visit again as more resources and fun stuff will be added to the website every month.

Thanks for reading this issue of Lighten Up! If you enjoyed it, please pass it along to your friends, your family, your co-workers...You get the idea. See you January 17th! Until that time, be well, be happy and play more.