November 15, 2004 Issue #11

IN THIS ISSUE...

1) Welcome!
2) My Playground
3) Check it Out
4) Giggles & Guffaws
5) Ways to Play Today!
6) Random Musings
7) Something to ponder
8) Shameless Promotional Plug

A playful welcome to my new subscribers!
This *free* monthly newsletter is written with the intention to help you live life with more fun and joy and less stress and worry. With informative articles, humorous insights and great resources, "Lighten Up!" is guaranteed to provide you a motivational kick in the butt while giving you a giggle or two along the way.

A few years back I gave up reading the newspaper and watching most T.V. I'll admit there was a reality show or two I'd watch whenever I needed a good dose of laughter or a reminder of how blessed my life was, but I no longer began my day with the front page headlines or ended it with the eleven o'clock newscast. I decided to take a break from my daily media deluge when I realized most of what I either read or watched didn't inspire me. More often than not, I was left feeling disappointed and depressed about the state of affairs in my hometown, my state and the world.

Letting go of my attachment to "being in the know" wasn't an easy thing to do. I did feel relieved and rejuvenated by not subjecting myself to the sad and horrific stories of the day. However, I also felt quite guilty that I no longer knew or seemed to care sometimes about the events that were occurring around me. I figured if there were something really important to know it was highly likely I'd hear the information from someone else. On November 2nd, I was not one of the millions of people who sat mesmerized as they watched the biggest news event of the year unfold in front of their eyes. I was tempted to plop my butt down on a couch somewhere and tune in as well, but I decided against it when I knew there was a good chance whatever I watched would not leave me inspired. I was glad I postponed waiting until the next day to hear the election results from co-workers. I've been wondering since then how I can be okay with the outcome. How can I be okay with something I didn't want?

Whether you're disgusted or delighted with the results of the 2004 election, read on to discover some ways on how we, as a divided nation, can somehow come together again while still being able to respect our differing opinions.

My Playground
The article, the message, the thing to make you go hmmm...

~Embracing the Difference~

Needless to say, I was not happy with the results of the recent election. It's very challenging for me to feel good about the decisions our government has made the last four years. It's hard for me to believe that this country is in safe hands for the next four with having elected the same man who I feel has done considerable damage to our nation and to our world. I know there are many people who share the same sentiments that I do. I also know that there are just as many people who feel the exact opposite. If there's one thing this election has reminded me of (besides how infuriating and misleading polls and surveys can be) it is the importance of free self-expression and tolerance.

The truth is...we all want to feel heard and respected by others. How is that possible though when one's opinions differ so vastly from someone else's? That was a question that smacked me right upside the head two weeks before the election. I was given an incredible opportunity to take a closer look at my own beliefs and see how they were limiting my ability to get to know a person I recently met and really liked. I quickly realized I needed a dose of my very own medicine. I needed to "Lighten Up" and learn how to be okay with our differences if I wanted to be friends with this person.

It was during a phone conversation with this new friend of mine that we discovered we held completely different perspectives when talk of the upcoming election was brought up. Very quickly I suggested we steer clear of political discussions with one another and she readily agreed. It was only after I hung up the phone that I realized I had chosen to take the easy way out of this potential conflict. It took a couple of days to tell her how her differing viewpoints had had a powerful and negative impact on me, but once I began sharing with her how I felt, I was more open to listening and embracing more of what she had to say. It was also during this conversation with her that I knew this was exactly what I was meant to write about in this month's newsletter. I know this experience has encouraged me to find better ways to discuss differing opinions without making assumptions and judgments. Trust me, it's a steep learning curve, but it's one I'm committed to taking on in the interest of peace and unity. I share these ways with you in the hope that you can embrace a few of them yourself.

5 Ways to Be A-Okay No Matter What Someone May Say

1) Awareness - Realize there's a difference in opinions and notice how it makes you feel. This is more an internal process than an external one and it allows you to identify your emotions.

2) Acknowledgement -Recognize and validate the other person's opinion. Be willing to share that your opinion is different and admit you might be challenged by this fact.

3) Action - Take the initiative and have a conversation. Ask questions. Listen first and speak second. Be willing to keep an open mind and an open heart.

4) Agreement - Discover what similarities might exist between two opposing viewpoints. It's not a matter of convincing another person to believe as you do, but a matter of being understood. You can agree to disagree.

5) Acceptance - Know that you can accept another person's opinion without it becoming your own. Understand that acceptance helps create a space for continued communication.

I think most people would agree finding common ground and coming together as a country is a worthwhile endeavor. Of course how we do that is the challenging part. I think most people want to find ways where they can speak openly about who they are and what they believe in without fear of being admonished and rejected. Perhaps it begins with something as simple as going over to your neighbor’s house (the one who stuck a different sign out in their yard than the one you did) and offering up a plate of cookies. Perhaps it’s hosting a potluck and inviting people over who have opinions different than your own and having an honest and open conversation about how we achieve peace again. (Important side note: While food is always a good thing to bring people together, refrain from serving any alcohol.) Given the emotional intensity with what’s going on in the world right now, I’ll admit I wonder if it’s possible for all of us to regain a sense of harmony, but I’m willing to do my part and give it a try and I encourage you to do the same. Remember that new friend of mine I mentioned earlier? She and I are getting along fabulously as roommates now.

Check it Out
Personal Recommendations for books, music, websites and all resources fun!

The World Cafe I found it interesting that I discovered this website in a magazine I'd purchased around the same time the ideas for this newsletter's article were swirling about in my head. The purpose of this site is to help bring people together with differing viewpoints in order to have honest and open conversations about the things that matter most to them. Check out the newsflash that says "Let’s Talk America" on the home page, click on the poem and by the time you finish reading it you might just believe world peace IS possible. Personally I like the name of the website because it brings up an image of tons of people sitting around a huge table drinking coffee and eating yummy scones with big smiles on their faces.

Red Cross
Wherever you live, there's always a need for blood. If it's been awhile since you've donated, now is the time to go. If you've never donated before, now is the time to start. There are a few standards for donating but generally if you're healthy (you'll fill out an in-depth questionnaire to determine this) and have 30 minutes to spare (we all do) there is no excuse for you not to give one of the greatest gifts you could give someone...life. Where else can you go for free, eat as many cookies as you want and then feel on top of the world the rest of the day? Make an appointment and go donate today.

Giggles & Guffaws
An amusing story, joke, anecdote or picture to tickle your funnybone
Just a word of warning before reading the following joke: it’s PG-13, which means you might want to read it first before showing it to your kids.

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand up his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

Ways to Play Today!

Why not...send a thank you note with all your bills this month?
If you think about how much fun you have paying bills each month, think about the poor sap that works to make sure you got them in on time. If you really stop to consider just how important this person is in your life, you'll see why you should have sent a thank you note to him or her a long time ago. This is the person who decides whether or not you pay late fees. This is the person who has to open your envelope, decipher your handwriting and look to see whether or not you followed directions and put your account number on the bottom of your check. In the spirit of the upcoming holidays, why not make someone's day and write a brief note thanking him or her for all the hard work they do to insure that your numbers match with theirs. Don't use this as a lame attempt to butter up the customer service rep. if your bill is going to be late. Make this an honest effort to make a stranger's day.

Why not...MAKE all your Christmas gifts this year?
Yes, you heard me right and yes, I know this takes a little more planning and time on your part, but it's sooo worth it. Even if you only paint-by-numbers and draw simple doodles, a gift you make will be cherished more than anything you could pluck off the department store shelves. You've no doubt heard the expression, "It's the thought that counts". My family has been known to say that whenever we've received something odd from a certain relative, but honestly, it IS the intention behind the gift that makes it incredibly special. Gifts from the heart and hand are appreciated more than those you buy because it's likely they're one of kind. If you're stumped and can't think of something you could make that would be decent enough to give, I recommend this: Show up with a hand-written letter, sit that person down and read them all the reasons you're grateful to have him or her in your life. It doesn't take a skilled artesian to make something unique and beautiful. It only takes you being willing to share your thoughts with others. You're the best gift you could give someone.

Random Musings
Miscellaneous thoughts of mine with hints of truth and wisdom

I believe everyone can agree on one thing they want this year for Christmas: World Peace.

The color orange looks best on leaves.

Don't make assumptions. Keep asking questions until you discover the answer.

Something to Ponder
Questions designed to stimulate your thinking AND encourage you to take action towards what you want.

What opinion of yours has prevented you from embracing another's?

Where might you need to lighten up a bit in your life?

Care to share what these questions stir up in you? Need some support around lightening up and embracing differences? Send me an e-mail. I welcome your thoughts and will respond to all e-mails received.

Shameless Promotional Plug

With the holidays just around the corner, it's the time of year when many people gain weight, get depressed and numb out. DON'T DO THAT! I want to help you create and have EXACTLY the kind of holidays and life you want in the next few weeks. I've always loved giving gifts and because my subscribers are such an incredible gift to me, I've come up with something I'm really excited about. Between now and December 22nd, if you'd like some additional support during this wonderful yet often challenging season, you've got your very own holiday coach. For the next six weeks, I'm giving complimentary email coaching to anyone who subscribes to this newsletter. How does it work you say? You send an email giving me an idea what's up for you and within 24 hours you'll receive an email back from me with suggestions designed to support you. It's simple, it's free and there's no limit to the amount of emails we can exchange. Pretty neat, eh? This Playful Spirit isn't kidding around when she says she wants you to experience the holidays with as much joy and delight as you can muster.

If you want to find out more about the work I do as a coach, facilitator and writer check out Playful Spirit Make sure you come back and visit again as more resources and fun stuff will be added to the website every month.

Thanks for reading this issue of Lighten Up! If you enjoyed it, please pass it along to your friends, your family, your co-workers...You get the idea. See you December 20th! Until that time, be well, be happy and play more.