September 20, 2004 Issue #9

IN THIS ISSUE...

1) Welcome!
2) My Playground
3) Check it Out
4) Giggles & Guffaws
5) Ways to Play Today!
6) Random Musings
7) Something to ponder
8) Shameless Promotional Plug

A playful welcome to my new subscribers!
This *free* monthly newsletter is written with the intention to help you live life with more fun and joy and less stress and worry. With informative articles, humorous insights and great resources, "Lighten Up!" is guaranteed to provide you a motivational kick in the butt while giving you a giggle or two along the way.

In last month's newsletter, I announced I would publish Lighten Up on the third Monday of every month. I have to tell you that setting that goal and telling all of you about it was pretty scary for me. In addition to immediately thinking I just put a lot of pressure on myself to perform, I began thinking about how others might feel if I didn't follow through with my commitment. Could this newsletter been published tomorrow rather than today? Sure, but I would have felt like doo-doo for not honoring my word. Do I feel pretty darn good having stayed true to my intention? Absolutely. And I have to thank you, dear readers, for helping me accomplish my goal and catching me by surprise.

When I created that deadline and shared it with you last month, I made a promise to myself and to you to publish this newsletter on time. I've been working a lot this year on being more committed to the things in my life that are important to me. Writing this newsletter is one of them. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to confront my fear of having a deadline and discovering how powerful integrity and accountability can be in my writing. Those two principles have not only kicked my butt into getting this issue out when I said it would, but it's made my commitment to writing even stronger.

My Playground
The article, the message, the thing to make you go hmmm...

~Caught By Surprise~

When I turned 18 years old, a good friend of mine gave me a stuffed bear for my birthday. I named him Rolo and for the past 18 years, he's traveled with me to college, various apartments and houses and currently he resides near the foot of my bed. I'll admit that I still have a beloved bear even at age 35 (c'mon...doesn't everyone have a stuffed creature they still cherish?) but there's a lot of sentimentality behind that gift that was given so long ago so he continues to hang out with me year after year. I tell you this story in advance of the one I'm about to tell because Rolo plays a significant part in it.

In July, my boyfriend took a three-week trip to New Zealand to visit some friends and his parents. During the time he was away, we exchanged a couple of phone calls and several emails and expressed how much we were looking forward to seeing each other upon his return. Before he left on his trip, James planned several surprises for me to delight in while he was away. Flowers were delivered to my desk the day he left and a smattering of cards he wrote in advance of his departure were sent to me within a few days. I love surprises and being surprised and was quite happy to be the recipient of these unexpected gifts. That all changed the day I got an email with this picture enclosed.

Surprises are one of the best parts of living. Perhaps we don't get unexpected gifts like flowers and chocolate every day (although my friend, Layne definitely believes chocolate should be a gift one gives to oneself daily), but we are given the opportunity to be surprised by the very gift of life itself every day. Of course there are some things in this world we'd rather know about in advance like a hurricane approaching land or a check about to bounce in our bank account, but being caught by surprise can turn a dull, hum-drum day into an absolutely amazing one simply by allowing others to delight in delighting you. The truth is...surprises that are given from the heart will be wanted and welcomed by most people. If it's been awhile since you've been surprised, the surest way to attract one is to give one.

5 Elements of a Grand Surprise

1) Spontaneity- Never doubt the beauty of a random and sudden act of kindness. It's those spur-of-the-moment gifts that are often the most revered and remembered.

2) Sincerity- Give from your heart and consider the impact you might have on the person you're surprising.

3) Sentimental- Grand surprises have a built-in longevity factor when you've taken the time to think about who the person is and what they'll enjoy. I suspect Rolo's going to be around for another 18 years.

4) Sequential- A series of grand surprises can work very well in your favor if you either want a loved one to adore or abhor you.

5) Sense of sneaky and silly- We can get so damn serious about our lives sometimes that we totally forget how much fun it is to do something outrageous and out of the ordinary. A grand surprise should always include a good giggle.

There are a few people I know who don't like surprises, specifically on their birthdays. If only they knew how they discredit their yearly celebration of life and those they love when they tell them not to plan any surprises. Forest Gump said it best,"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Begin each day willing to surprise others and be surprised by what you give and receive.

Check it Out
Personal Recommendations for books, music, websites and all resources fun!

Virtual Chocolate This site was handpicked not only for the relevance it had with this month's article, but also for a dear friend who is a chocolate fiend. (I can see you setting your home page to this website already, Layne) You can join a chocolate club, read stories about chocolate, send chocolate e-cards and as long as you don't order any chocolate, you can do all of this calorie-free! I especially liked the Chocolate quote page and my favorite quote is: "Chocolate-Here today...Gone today." Well...duh!

"Short Notes from the Long History of Happiness" by Michael Leunig
This sweet little picture book contains very short stories that are quite funny, but also carry a significant message. This is what you might get if you combined Deepak Chopra's words with Matt Groening's "Life is Hell" cartoons. Part maniacal, part magical, this book will make you laugh while touching your heart.
Here's a sample story entitled: Near-Death Experience
He had heard of near-death experiences and their transforming power but he had never had one. It seemed to him that much of humanity was near death; the way people watched so much television! "The living dead" he thought. While out walking, it occurred to him that modern existence itself might be a constant near-death experience. All of the sudden, a flower truck turned a corner and a load of daffodils spilled from the back and buried him. He lay bewildered for a moment under the glowing yellow heap and then poked his head out into the sunshine. He saw his reflection in a shop window. He smelled the daffodils. "How lovely!" he thought. It was a a near-life experience and already a transformation was in progress.

Giggles & Guffaws
An amusing story, joke, anecdote or picture to tickle your funnybone
Rolo makes friends with a bear from the South Pacific

Ways to Play Today!

Why not...embrace the fact that summer is over?
If you're a sun-loving summer fanatic and are panicking right now at the thought of the season changing, take heart that it will come around again in three seasons. Yeah, that thought didn't work for me either. But here are a few things you can do while you wait for the warm weather to return. Get a head start on raking the leaves that have begun to fall and gather in your front yard. Go for a walk and breathe in the crisp air. Make some homemade hot-spiced cider or be a little lazier and go to your grocer and buy some. Sip on it while sitting next to that first fire you just built in your fireplace. Take time out to notice the changing of the colors from the leaves on the trees to the moods of the people in your office. Break into your fall wardrobe and snuggle up in your favorite sweater. If none of these ideas work, grab your bikini, go to your local tanning salon and imagine yourself on a tropical island. It may only be for 15 minutes, but you've just made summer last a little longer.

Why not...give away something of yours that you no longer need to someone that does?
Over our lifetime we accumulate a lot of stuff. Personally, I have enough unread books in my bookcase that I have years of reading pleasure ahead of me before I'll ever have to purchase another book. Does having that kind of abundance prevent me from buying the latest best-seller? Nope. I continue to collect them rather than read the ones I got. If you take an inventory of the things that surround you in your home, chances are there are a lot of items that you no longer use, care about or even remember you have. Don't wait until Spring (that's still 2 seasons away) to clean out those closets and drawers. Give away what you no longer have need for NOW. You might pine a day or two for your beloved, cracked, ceramic candy dish that your Great Grandmother's boyfriend gave her as birthday gift in high school, but after that momentary feeling of loss has passed, you'll celebrate the fact that you probably never liked that crappy piece of glass and you're pretty happy to finally be rid of the damn thing. On a more serious note, whatever you give away that you think is junk could be another person's treasure so donate your stuff to Goodwill rather than to your trashcan.

Random Musings
Miscellaneous thoughts of mine with hints of truth and wisdom

I have to admit the rain pounding away on my rooftop at night is a lovely way to fall asleep.

Had I known being committed to something would have felt this good, I would have started writing this newsletter a long, long time ago.

I thought being stubborn was a good thing. Come to find out it often prevents you from having what you really want.

You are the perfect surprise to give to someone today.

Something to Ponder
Questions designed to stimulate your thinking AND encourage you to take action towards what you want.

When was the last time you were caught by surprise and how did it make you feel?

If you'd like to surprise someone, but you haven't yet, what's stopping you?

Care to share what these questions stir up in you? Need some support around being surprised and surprising others? Send me an e-mail. I welcome your thoughts and will respond to all e-mails received.

Shameless Promotional Plug
Well...sort of.

Last month I encouraged all my subscribers to send me their suggestions for their favorite, most fun websites. While I appreciate the ones I did receive, I got just a handful and I'm still looking for more. I'm making the request again to send me those sites you've discovered that have inspired and delighted you, made you giggle and guffaw and other than obviously saying "no thank you" to adult-related sites, any playful suggestion is welcomed. One of the big ideas I have brewing in my head these days is building a community where this website is THE place for all Playful Spirits to unite. Creating resources and links to fun people, places and things is one of the things I'd like to offer newsletter subscribers and website seekers. You helped me give Lighten Up a monthly publishing date, now I ask for your help again in making Playful Spirit bigger.

If you want to find out more about the work I do as a coach, facilitator and writer check out Playful Spirit Make sure you come back and visit again as more resources and fun stuff will be added to the website every month.

Thanks for reading this issue of Lighten Up! If you enjoyed it, please pass it along to your friends, your family, your co-workers...You get the idea. See you next month! Until that time, be well, be happy and play more.