May 27, 2004 Issue #6

IN THIS ISSUE...

1) Welcome!
2) My Playground
3) Check it Out
4) Giggles & Guffaws
5) Ways to Play Today!
6) Random Musings
7) Something to ponder
8) Shameless Promotional Plug

A playful welcome to my new subscribers!
This *free* monthly newsletter is written with the intention to help you live life with more fun and joy and less stress and worry. With informative articles, humorous insights and great resources, "Lighten Up!" is guaranteed to provide you a motivational kick in the butt while giving you a giggle or two along the way.

Somewhere between January of this year and now, I lost my writing muse. I've been struggling to find her voice the past four months and I'm thrilled to have finally found her again and return to writing my newsletter. My life has changed considerably since the last issue of Lighten Up and to be honest, I'm disappointed I didn't take the opportunity to write while those changes were occurring rather than choosing to wallow in a self-imposed pool of pity. I suspect there could have been a lot of juicy stuff that would have been valuable to share with others and would have potentially pulled me out of my own mucky place. So, while I'm not going to tell you about all the reasons (excuses) I came up with why I couldn't write, I will tell you this: it became glaringly apparent as time passed how important my writing was to me. I've realized that despite whatever circumstances are going on in my life, my voice...my creativity...my passion MUST continue on even when other things in my life don't. With that being said, dear reader, I welcome Lighten Up back into your life as well as mine.

If you're wondering why the newsletter is not appearing in its usual smaller format, when you scroll down a bit you'll see why. There's a rather large picture of me dancing on the beach. The truth is...I wasn't able to reduce the picture's size because I haven't added Photoshop to my new computer yet. The newsletter's regular format will return next month. In the meantime, enjoy the scenery!

My Playground
The article, the message, the thing to make you go hmmm...

~Being in The Gap~

Four months ago, it was snowing where I lived. Now the flowers are all abloom and my cat begins chirping along with the birds around 4am to let me, and the rest of the world know spring is here. In addition to the weather dramatically changing, there have been some significant modifications made not only in where I live, but how I'm living my life these days. I'm going to call the place I've been playing in lately The Gap, which is otherwise known as the place in between letting go and moving on, which is also known as the place of many questions.

As human beings, we're inquisitive by nature and during any given day, we might ask others and ourselves hundreds of questions. We ask questions to ascertain facts (what, where, who and when) and we ask questions to further our understanding (how and why). While being in The Gap, I've been overwhelmed by the amount of how and why questions. At one time, I thought that one semester of philosophy back in college was enough to send my mind over the edge, but now that I've been my own personal Socrates for the last four months, I understand fully how excruciating self-exploration can be. Despite the emotional weight that one can encounter while delving into the deep crevasses, being in The Gap offers an incredible potential for self-expression, healing and growth.

As human beings, we are also usually steadfast in our ways and are terrified of making changes. The truth is...change is going to happen whether you're prepared for it (or not) or like it (or not). Usually once the changes have occurred, we can look back and see how absolutely silly we were for worrying so much about "HOW WILL IT ALL TURN OUT?" However, it's during that in-between place, when we're going through major upheaval that we need to take comfort in the questions we ask of ourselves. It's those challenging questions that often encourage us to move onto the next place we know is meant for us.

5 Reminders Why The Gap Is Good

1) You'll be reminded who your friends are
The people who really care about you want the best for you even if their opinions differ from your own. Even if they don't completely understand what you're going through, they'll offer whatever they can to help you through your transition. Be okay with saying yes and thank you. Lean on them.

2) You'll feel more emotionally vulnerable
Yeah, this kinda sucks sometimes, but you'll be a much healthier person if you allow yourself to feel all the emotions you're feeling and let them come out rather than stifling them. There's an incredible amount of freedom that comes with expressing your feelings even during the most inappropriate of times. Why snivel into your pillow at night when you can let the whole neighborhood know how crappy you feel? This is not about garnering attention, it's about allowing yourself to feel what you feel when you feel it.

3) You'll ponder about life...a lot
Pondering is a good thing, but obsessing is quite another. What's the distinction between the two? Since I think I did a little bit of both, I'll explain it this way. Pondering allows for new insights and new possibilities to emerge. It's creative, often productive and it makes for interesting conversations with others. Obsessing is pondering taken to the extreme. It is not creative, definitely not productive and it can make others worry about or wonder just what the hell is wrong with you. Obsessing tends to cause feelings of frustration, doubt and an assortment of other not-so-nice feelings about yourself. I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU NOT TO DO THAT! So, while you're experiencing the Gap, pay close attention to the things you wonder about and trust these new revelations will assist you in moving forward.

4) You'll find unexpected answers.
If you're like me and you like surprises, you'll appreciate being in The Gap simply because there's a huge potential for you to experience something you've never experienced before. Remember those new insights and possibilities I mentioned earlier? You might have had an inkling about some of them prior to being in The Gap, but be forewarned that you might also feel like you've been smacked upside the head by all the new information you've acquired through the art of consideration. Receiving unexpected answers can sometimes feel like getting the elephant gift at Christmas. It's a present under the tree you want to unwrap, but once you have, you're not quite sure you know what to do with it. Appreciate all the knowledge you gain from the time you spend in the in-between place.

5) You'll grow exponentially.
Even though being in The Gap can be challenging, it is a huge place for transformation to occur. Why is transformation such a great thing? I believe we are meant to live exciting, joyful and BIG lives and one of the ways I suspect we get to do that is by going through some not so-fun places. During your time in The Gap, you can learn to appreciate what you've known previously and open yourself up to what's next. You have an incredible opportunity to be grateful for everything that makes up your past and be thrilled about what you can create for your future. Even though it's been hard at times the past few months to be in this place of transformation, I know it's exactly where I've needed to be in order to take me to the place I am today. Delight in the fact that you'll know this, too and as an added bonus, as you transform, so will others around you.

A few years ago, I came across a brilliant article that talked about how life is a series of trapeze bars. It basically said that as we happily swing along on our trapeze, it's inevitable that another bar will appear and we'll be encouraged to leap towards it. The scary part is in order to experience whatever it is that that next bar will bring us, we have to let go of the current one we're swinging on and be okay with being in The Gap.

The truth is...whenever you're making and going through big changes in your life, there will always be a gap between what was and what will be. If you've ever been to a circus, you know that those trapeze artists aren't practicing for an hour and then calling it a day. Their whole act is about trusting the gap enough to take them to where they want to go (the next trapeze bar) and being okay with playing in that space. Remember those circus performers always have a safety net. Trust that you always will too. Trust yourself enough to know that when you're in The Gap, it's a good place to be and you're that much closer to knowing who you really are and what you want. Leap away I say!

Check it Out
Personal Recommendations for books, music, websites and all resources fun!

Landmark Education As a coach, I help people take action towards what they want in their lives. While I provide support, inspiration and education in a playful and professional way, I always encourage my clients to engage in things that foster their personal growth and bring joy to their lives. I too, participate in activities that stimulate my thinking and give me valuable insights into my own journey. With that said, I want to share with you a coaching organization that facilitates empowering workshops worldwide. A few weeks ago, I took their introductory seminar called the Landmark Forum and because it has had such a powerful impact on my life, I'm recommending it to everyone I know. The Forum has been described as a rigorous inquiry into the self. What exactly does that mean? Well...if you've ever taken a philosophy class and spent an hour discussing just one question, consider pondering over a course of three days some of the most important questions you'd want to know answers about yourself and your life. Sound a little intimidating? It is, but it's worth it. There's a lot of information on the internet about the pros and cons about this organization and their seminars, but I encourage you to discover and experience for yourself what the Landmark Forum might hold for you.

Travels by Michael Crichton
Although I enjoyed watching Jurassic Park and was a huge fan of E.R. for several years, I had never read any of Michael Crichton's science fiction books. Dinosaurs and a fast-paced drama series kept me on the edge of my seat, but I never had an interest in this author until I read this non-fiction book of his recently. A friend of mine who has traveled extensively knows of my intense desire to get off this continent and thought Michael's travels around the world might inspire me to take some of my own. A Harvard-trained doctor, Michael has never practiced medicine since earning his degree. Instead he has made a very good living by pursuing his passion for writing. Travels tells the tales of Crichton's real-life adventures across the globe. His writing style is quick-witted and funny and the way in which he describes the places he visits, you'll want to book your next vacation to a few of them. You might not necessarily want to take as many risks as he does (he hikes up steep mountain passes, encounters wild animals and makes a few enemies along the way), but you'll appreciate his sense of wonder as he shares not only the places he travels to physically, but the spiritual journeys he takes as well. SIDENOTE: Pay attention to those intense desires of yours. They'll keep bugging you until you either do something about them or you give up on them. The truth is...you might try your darndest to give them up, but they won't give up on you.

What The Bleep Do We Know
Part-documentary, part fiction and part animation. That description alone should cause a few raised eyebrows. If there's one movie people will be talking about this year, this is it. If there's one movie to see this year that will inspire you to look at life differently, this is it. Even if you don't want another perspective about life because you like the one you have now just fine, you should still SEE THIS MOVIE! Imagine you've been invited to dinner with a group of quantum-mechanic physicists. Perhaps you're like me and you think "I'll be checking out of this conversation so fast, I'll have eaten my dessert before they've even started on their salads". Just the mention of concepts like quarks and sub-atomic particles make me want to leave a party before it's even begun. However, this movie explains science theories in such a way that not only do I understand what the physicists are saying, I want to contribute to their conversation. A slight warning should be noted. This movie has the potential to make your head spin, but in a very good way. This is a movie you'll be thinking about for a long time after you see it. Trust me on this one. GO SEE IT.

Giggles & Guffaws
An amusing story, joke, anecdote or picture to tickle your funnybone

In addition to the coaching, facilitating and writing I do, right now I'm working at a massage school. One of my roles is to interview prospective students for our program. A couple weeks ago, a gal I was interviewing brought her four year-old daughter to our meeting. The little girl had quite a large scratch on her nose and when I asked her, "What happened to your nose?" she replied, "My mom picked it." Needless to say, despite her mom turning several shades of red while trying to explain what really happened, all three of us had a few giggles and the rest of the interview went smashingly well.

Ways to Play Today!

Why not... speak with a foreign accent all day long?

If you're from the Pacific Northwest, you know that we tend to speak in a rather dull monotonous sort of way. We may be unique in that we'll wear socks with our sandals and put on shorts in 60-degree weather, but as far as accents go, we really don't have any twangs, lilts or anything special that makes our voices noticeable to others. (Volume doesn't count!) My suggestion is to either hang around someone who has one and try to mimic their speech patterns or rent a foreign movie, close your eyes and listen to the subtle (or not so subtle) nuances that make up the sounds of that particular language. Create a new identity today with your voice. Truly, the only thing that might offend someone is if your accent is so bloody awful, people will know right away you're a fraud and call you on it. Your fun challenge is to perfect your accent to the point where someone asks you the question "Where are you from?" Then you can take pride in your acquired accent and smile broadly when you say, "(insert your home town here)".

Why not...try to get rid of one bad habit?
If you thought of something immediately upon reading the above suggestion, THAT'S the one habit you should consider giving up. Now, maybe you're thinking whatever it is you do, isn't so bad. I've cracked my knuckles since I was in the sixth grade and even though it provides me extreme pleasure sometimes, I know it's not necessarily good for my joints and it tends to irritate others, especially in quiet places. Do I want to give it up? No, not really, but am I wiling to give it a whirl just for fun? Yes. Despite what you may believe, there's a particular behavior you engage in that you secretly despise, wish you could change and potentially annoys others. I can't remember who it was that said if you do something for 21 days straight it becomes a habit. I'm going to try not to crack those knuckles of mine for the next three weeks. I encourage you to give up one of your habits for the same amount of time. Perhaps we'll discover that that 21-day theory works in reverse and we'll create a new, healthier habit. Of course there's also the possibility we could discover that whatever habit we were trying to rid ourselves of is something we'd much rather keep in order to preserve our sanity. I'm already thinking I might have to purchase a pair of heavily insulated gloves to prevent me from getting to those damn fingers of mine.

Random Musings
Miscellaneous thoughts of mine with hints of truth and wisdom

Take the time to look into a child's eyes. I looked into Bryson's (my 5 month old nephew) for a very long time the other day and saw some amazing things I know he won't be able to share with me even when he learns how to speak.

It's more than okay to continue to love those you've let go of. In fact, the more you embrace that love, the more it sets you free.

Trust another to tell you the truth as they see it and be open enough to accept that perspective even though it may not be your own.

Often the most beautiful moments are the ones you least expect.

Something to Ponder
Questions designed to stimulate your thinking AND encourage you to take action towards what you want.

What are you learning from being in the gap?
How will these insights help you let go and move on?

Care to share what these questions stir up in you? Need some support around the interesting and entertaining place of your gap? Send me en e-mail. I welcome your thoughts and will respond to all e-mails received.

Shameless Promotional Plug
What's Up at Playful Spirit?

I'm going to be giving away free stuff each month. No, I'm not going to be holding any cake raffles nor will I be sending you concert tickets, but I will be providing more resources, articles and in general, just more fun stuff as a way of saying thanks for subscribing to my newsletter. My goal by the end of this year is to have 1000 subscribers. I need your help to achieve that number. It's easy for you to do. Just forward a copy of this newsletter to the people in your lives you care about (you have my permission to even send it to the ones you don't particularly like) and tell them reading Lighten Up! each month is like sipping a cold margarita on a hot summer's day on a tropical beach with a gecko biting your toe. In other words, it will quench your thirst when you need it most, help you remember it's always sunny somewhere and remind you that even on the best days, it's important not to let those little bast*#&s, I mean lizards, get you down.

If you'd like a copy of the Trapeze article I mentioned above, send me an email and I'll be happy to send it your way. If you want to find out more about the work I do as a coach, facilitator and writer check out Playful Spirit Make sure you come back and visit again as more resources and fun stuff will be added to the website every month.

Thanks for reading this issue of Lighten Up! If you enjoyed it, please pass it along to your friends, your family, your co-workers...You get the idea. See you next month! Until that time, be well, be happy and play more.